Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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