another moral hangover. fuck.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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