is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
