I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize