If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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