If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
