it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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