so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
