Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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