Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
