Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
