Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
