if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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