My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.