What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra