from now on my penis is your penis
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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