omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
