Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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