So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
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Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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