How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
how does that bad decision feel?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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