Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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