Please, let me fuck your mom
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
