then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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