remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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