I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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