i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I got inside last night via doggy door
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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