i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
