She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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