if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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