ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
