i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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