Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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