Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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