No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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