Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
