Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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