i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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