please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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