woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
