there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I believe in your delicious
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
A bitchslap is in order.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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