I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
