today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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