i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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