Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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