I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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