Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
