hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
