My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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