Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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