Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
