What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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