Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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