He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
