she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
