i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
