i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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