At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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