we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
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