I just saw a hot homeless man
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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