I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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