I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
