Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
fuck your aforementioned shoe
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I need moral support for this bender
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
