Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
