at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just invented taco cereal.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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