I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize